About

I love condensing massive things (such as a lifetime) into nice, snug and digestable paragraphs.

Don’t have time to watch all of Titanic? Don’t. Jack and Rose have sex in a car and the ship sinks, it’s all you need to know.

Want to grow a vegie patch and watch wholesome organic food that you planted with your bare hands flourish over a few months? Hmmm, well Safeway is proably going to be cheaper plus unless you are a descendant of Don Burke, your tomato plant will probably only grow one cherry tomato that doesn’t even turn red (and I’m still bitter about it months later).

If someone asked me to summarize myself in a paragraph I would tell them to go summarize their fat ass.

But in the interests of this new endeavour of mine and the fact no one is telling me to summarize myself, except myself, and I would prefer not to summarize my own ass… I will.

I’m 21, have nearly finished my Media degree at RMIT in Melbourne and can only smell citrus based fruit.

I have a radio show called Dirty Sexy Music that is on every Monday night between 10pm and 11pm on Melbourne’s SYN (90.7fm) where you can hear me describe music using mostly the word “banger” and occasionally other adjectives.

I currently write for Yen online and am interested in writing for other publications too.